Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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