If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
soo... how was my night?
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