I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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