Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
this hospital has no fireball
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
