Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
