Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize