xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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