youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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