Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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