ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
