you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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