Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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