butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
