Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize
