We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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