Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year