So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
