Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i believe in u and ur pee
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
