he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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