I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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