I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
