i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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