Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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