I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
