He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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