We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
