I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
