i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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