First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
