Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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