I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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