Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
