Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
