You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
