HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
