i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
