And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
