And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
