I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
