weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
