Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
