I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Actions speak louder than pants.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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