so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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