her vagine was all disorganized.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize