How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
