Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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