I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
