You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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