Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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