U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
