It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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