I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
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Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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