I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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