sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
