I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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