Pappa wants mamma naked
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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