If i come over, it means nothing
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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