I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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